Roxy

06:52 pm - Another quiz...

You scored as empty roll. That's right, my friend. Your life is like an empty roll of toilet paper. See, you're bold, spontaneous, and adventurous. You always have a story to tell. However, you tend to take risks without evaluating your resources. And that often leaves you with a huge mess on your hands. </td> empty roll 69% under-dispensing toilet paper 63% quilted toilet paper 56% dead leaves 56% paper napkins 50% public restroom toilet paper 50% over-dispensing toilet paper 44% what kind of TOILET PAPER are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Current Mood: amused

05:26 pm - Forgive me

You scored as A Too Sweet Faerie. So sweet your totally sugared up! Has there ever been anyone so nice. Quick to forgive and quick to forget, everybody wants to know you! You've just got to make sure nobody takes advantage and tries to use you, don't be afraid to say no sometimes! See All Results/Comment </td> A Too Sweet Faerie 70% A Too Sporty Faerie 60% A Too Silly Faerie 60% A Too Astral Faerie 55% A Too Kinky Faerie 50% A Too Lazy Faerie 50% A Too Depressed Faerie 40% A Too Evil Faerie 30% A Too Serious Faerie 30% Which Dysfunctional Faerie are You? created with QuizFarm.com

Current Mood: cheerful

09:43 pm - Kissmas Bash

Hello everyone!

Well, the Kissmas Bash concert was fun! There were nine acts...Seven Day Faith was first, then Sky Sweetnam, then Devin McGraw, then Vanessa Carlton, then Switchfoot (they were amazing...stole the show), then Good Charlotte, then JoJo, then Simple Plan, then finally Avril Lavigne wrapped up the show. All the bands played around four songs each, with the exception of Good Charlotte who played around five, Simple Plan who played around six, and then Avril who played around six or seven. So, the concert was good in general...started off a little slow (but that's to be expected because they save the best bands for last), but it picked up though when Vanessa Carlton came on, then Switchfoot was amazing. Good Charlotte was pretty good. Only Benji and Joel were there though, so all of their song were played on an acoustic guitar with no drums or bass or anything else like that. But it was still pretty good. When they played "Hold On" on the acoustic (it sounds a lot better like that by the way...) it really moved me. For those who dont know "Hold On" by Good Charlotte is a song about suicide, and holding on to life even when you think all hope is lost. It's basic message is Keep going. Dont give up. We all go through the same shit...it's life. But it gets better. Suicide is not the answer. Hold on. Dont give in. You can do it. The chorus goes like this...

We all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go thru

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Dont stop looking you're one step closer
Dont stop searching it's not over...hold on

So, as you can see the lyrics are very moving. Well, the song originally is very emotional but when you combine that with a live performance on the acoustic guitar (which is a very powerful instrument), energy feeding off of the crowd, plus a friend telling you they have had suicidal feelings just recently...it all becomes very powerful and emotional and it took all my will power to stop from crying.

Yes, one of my best friends (Chloe) told me two weeks ago that she cuts. And she showed them too me (very disturbing to see that). Plus, she's really depressed and has told me she wants to die and was seriously considering killing herself. That was a big deal for me. Knowing that I could wake up one day and my friend might not be there anymore. That was huge!

So, that song really hit me and made me realize how thankful I am to still have her here. For her to still be here with me. Also, how lucky I am to still be here and to have all my friends and family still here. It really made me think and put my life in perspective. You know...realize whats important. I think we all need that every once in a while. To be shaken up a little. To be reminded that life is short and to be so grateful for what we have. And sometimes we dont always like that reminder, because its often a painful one...but you know what? It's helps us in the end. And it keeps us from making mistakes we might have otherwise made.

Another song that hit me was "Nobodys Home" by Avril Lavigne. That song could basically be an autobiography for Chloe's life. The lyrics describe Chloe's life perfectly, and once again it almost made me cry because she's one of my best friends and she's going thru so much right now and im sort've powerless to help her. She is dealing with all of this stuff with her mom being a bitch to her, her dad not being in her life, her sister being the "perfect" child and her being the outcast. Her crush not liking her, and rejecting her. Her grades are slipping...she's skipping school (she hasnt gone to some classes in weeks). etc. etc. etc. ...I mean everyone has a story that will make you cry, and everyone has shit to go thru. But her's is just really bad! She moved out of her house (shes sixteen) and went to live with her grandparents...but then they kicked her out and now her mom has forced her to come back and live with her. She hates it! Its just bad...but anyways...so this song completly reminded me of her and it was so sad. How are you suppose to help someone like that? Just be there for them I guess...

Well, I was happy. Now im sad, and feeling helpless at the same time...

Anyways, here are the lyrics to "Nobody's Home" so you can maybe see a little what Chloe is feeling like right now, and how helpless I feel...

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.                                                                                                                    Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...
She's lost inside, lost inside...

Love Always,

Roxy

Current Mood: indescribable

05:33 pm - Soo sleepy...

Hello all!

I'm sooo tired! I just got home. I just finished playing two volleyball games at my school. We lost both games. Our team really sucks. We are terrible at working together. All of us are pretty decent volleyball players on our own, but when you stick all of us together on a team...that's where we fall apart. We should really work on our teamwork...and our spiking, and our bumping, and calling the ball, and serving, and blocking....well okay, we need to work on alot of things. Hopefully the coach will up our practice time. Two practices a week just isnt cutting it. I know we could do better if we just worked together and tried a little harder...

I get so frustrated though. This one girl on our team...she's probably the worst player out of all of us, she just stands there while the ball hits the ground. She doesnt move for it. She doesnt try. And then when we call a time out she gives her two cents of advice worth "call the ball guys" "dont just stand there...move for it" etc. etc. And I know she means well...but I just stand there looking at her thinking listen to your own advice.

I hate that though. When the players just stand there, and dont move, and then the ball hits the ground a few feet from them. It's like, what do you expect? The ball to just come perfectly to you every single time? Move a little bit and make an effort. There was this one play...I was playing back left, and the ball was going to the back right...and no one was in that position for some strange reason (they must have moved and not gone back) and so I ran all the way across the court and dove for the ball, and I actually managed to hit it and keep it up so someone else could hit it over. And I mean if I can run and dive for a ball, and keep it up, from all the way across the court... you can at least move a few feet to hit the ball! Geeze...I mean, why wear knee pads if you're not gonna use them? It doesnt hurt when you dive for it. What are they afraid of? Actually, my motto for volleyball is: If you've played a game, and at the end your knee pads arnt dirty...you havnt played hard enough. You havent given it your best. But anyway...enough about volleyball.

It's the last day of school tomorrow. After that we get two weeks of holidays. Yeh! I'm definitly looking foward to it. I need a vacation. Plus, the concert is tomorrow night. And were not doing anything in school tomorrow...except have holiday parties. Which means movies and good food! Yum! Tomorrow will be a good day...

Also, no new news on the Jamie front (my crush). Things still seem to be moving slowly. No new action here. I went to his class today though. Saw him, got to talk to him. But ya...im pathetic I know. I cant help it though. I really like him! :(

Oh, something happened today in my gym class that I got really angry about...So, we always play music in class. Every single day. It pumps us up a little when playing sports. It's good. I really enjoy it. But the problem is, we only have a few cd's in class. And every cd has the same genre of music on it...mostly hip hop stuff, some rap and some r&b. Plus, we listen to the same twenty or so odd songs everyday (because theres only a few cd's). So, that gets boring. But I mean it's alright. I dont mind hip hop, rap and r&b. But it's not my favourite type of music. And after awhile I get tired of these men rapping about pussy's, parties, fucking, and drugs. I wanna listen to something else. So, one of the girls in our class brought in an Incubus cd. Now, Incubus is my favourite band, and it's alternative music...which is one of my favourite genres of music. So, obvioulsy I wanna listen to it. It's something new, and refreshing from all the hip hop we listen to in that class. And most of the girls (over 80%) were in the same boat. So, I put in the Incubus cd and it starts playing, when one of the girls comes over and changes the cd. Well, she changes it to the same shit we listen to everyday. So, obviously I get pissed off...so I go up to her and im like "Excuse me. But Incubus was playing and we were all listening to that." And she's just like "Well, I wanna listen to my favourite song" and walks away. I didnt press the matter. Personally I thought getting into a fight with this girl over what music to listen to would be pretty stupid. So, I just sucked it up and walked away. Whatever. It's just...would it have killed you to listen to a different type of music for once? Dont be so inconsiderate. We listen to your music everyday. It would be nice if we could have listened to ours. So, then she goes back to her "ghetto" friends (by the way, these girls are all white rich kids who live in a sub-urban area. Not the ghetto, or the "streets") and they start singing along..."All my nigga's in da house!? Get down and shake yo' ass. I want pussy. Can all my hoe's hear me? Give me pussy..." Blah. Blah. Blah. Ya, how enlightning?!

Love Always,

Roxy

Current Mood: sleepy

05:00 pm - Whew! Im exhausted!

I had volleyball practice after school today, and it was brutal! The coach made us run five laps around the gym to start and then he did this drill where we run laps while he spikes the balls down at us and we have to try to return them to him while running around the gym. He did that for a while (bringing my total number of laps to twelve) then we did other drills which involved running, then we played a game, and then at the end (after a two hour practice of mostly running) he did another drill where we have to bump then set then spike the ball to him, and then run around the net, up the stairs, throught the bleachers, down the stairs, around the other side of the gym, up the staris again, throught the weight room, down the staris, and around the side of the gym AGAIN! He made us do that three times! Im sorry, im not a wuss or anything, but thats a little too much running. Im a volleyball player, not a track and field runner. If I wanted to run I would have joined the cross-country team (for those of you who dont know thats a team where all you do is run...like miles and miles). Phew! By the time I was done my calves were burning! That was definitly a workout and a half! lol! But anyways...

So, school today was pretty boring. The only plus side was I got to see my crush again! Yeh! lol! Its really weird with him...I started liking him in early to mid October. It started out just as this innocent little crush, but as the days went by I found myself liking him more and more until it grew into an obsession! Last week was horrible! I was completly obsessed with him. I would think about him ALL the time. I would walk by his classes to peer in to try to get a glimpse of him (as I was walking by). I would stay on msn for hours, just waiting for him to come on so I could talk to him. I would talk about him ALL the time and my friends were starting to get annoyed with me (I cant blame them though. I would be annoyed if all one of my friends did was talk about this guy I dont even really know. Oh, wait! One of my friends DOES do that! Hmmm...). Anyways...to make a long story short I was completley obsessed! So, on this past Wednesday I got to a boiling point. And I finally decided I was gonna tell this guy I liked him on msn that night. So, I was totally stressing out...to the point where I actually felt dizzy and like I was gonna vomit! (NOTE: Usually im not like this with guys...I usually couldnt care less if they knew I liked them or not. But this guy is different...and from my not-so-distant-past experences I havent exacly been having the best luck with guys. So, this was kinda like "the one" with me and if he didnt like me I was basically gonna throw in the towel...at least for awhile anyways ;) ) So, I was stressing out and I called one of my better male friends Jeremy. And Jeremy helped me out, and calmed me down a little bit and I basically started venting to him and I started feeling better and not so stressed after a bit. And Jeremy told me I should just tell Jamie (my crush) that I liked him. So, I was like "Ya. What do I care? I'll just be like 'Hey Jamie! I just wanted to let you know that i've had a crush on you for the past two months! Well, im glad I got that off my chest...' and that will be it." And Jeremy is like "Ya, just do that." So, then I was all ready to tell him...but he didnt come on msn that night. So, I was gonna tell him tomorrow (Thursday). But when I woke up on Thursday I didnt like him anymore. It was the strangest thing! I was totally 100% not crushing on him anymore. It was so odd. But I guess the fact that I vented to Jeremy helped me out a lot, and suddleny the interest wasnt there anymore (I dunno, im just guessing. It was really weird). So, on Thursday at school I didnt like him anymore...I wouldnt think about him ALL the time anymore. I wouldnt walk by his classes to try to see him anymore. I didnt stay on msn waiting for him to come on so I could talk to him. I never once mentioned him to my friends that day. I just randomly stopped liking him. So, I never told him I liked him. Then, on Friday it started comming back...and I *kinda* liked him...and then it grew over the weekend, and now I have a crush on him again. Im not obsessed this time. This time its definitly a HEALTHY crush. But I still sorta like him again. Im just hoping it doesnt get obsessive again, that was HORRIBLE! So, now im just kinda in limbo. Im debating on whether I should just tell him I like him and lets the dust fall where it may. Or just not tell him and prey that he just randomly asks me out. lol! Oh, and for those who are wondering why I just dont ask him out?! I have three logical reasons for that...
#1: When I was talking to him awhile ago he said that he didnt want a girlfriend right now (mind you this was ten weeks ago and he may have changed his mind...but somehow I dont think so).
#2: He has specifically told me before he thinks its weird when girls ask guys out and that "the guy should always ask the girl out" (very traditional...I know).
#3: If I asked him out and he said no, then it would be REALLY embarassing (more so then a "normal" rejection because his little sister and my little sister are friends and if either of them EVER found out I was rejected by him the teasing and tormenting would literally NEVER end!)
So, those are my reasons...oh and I forgot one...I told him I liked him six weeks ago and he started laughing and told me he didnt believe me and he thought I was joking. So, in other words he thought I was lying, and if I tell him again he might do the same thing again. Grrr! Guys are so complicated. On the bright side though...my friends seem to think he likes me (even thought they dont really know him) because they say he always "stares at me when I see him in the halls at school" plus, personally, I think he flirts with me a bit. But then again, he just may be a big flirt and flirts with everyone, so I dunno.

The problem is here, is that were not really close friends. I mean were friends and all, but because hes in a grade lower then me (even though hes only three months younger then me), we dont have any classes together and our lunch periods are not together. So, the only time I ever see him is at school, and the only time I ever talk to him is on msn. With the exception of saying "hi" to him in the halls are our sometimes five minutes conversations in between classes. So, we dont really know each other all that well. So, I think what I really need to do is concentrate on becomming better friends with him first and hang out OUTSIDE of school to and then take our relationship for there. Because if it doesnt work out a least I have a new close friend right?! But the problem is im impatient with this...lol! Well, what do you think I should do? Please comment on this. I really need some input.

Sorry for making that so long. But do you see how confused I am about all of this? I've never really felt this way before...and you know what...im not 100% sure I like it!

Love Always,

Roxy

Current Mood: exhausted

07:44 pm - People are stupid!!

Okay, im bored right?! So, I decide to go to a music website and go to the chats and start reading all the stuff people say in different threads. So, I go to this one thread called "WHEN WILL U PPL SHUT UP ABOUT US BEING TEENS" I was kinda curious as to what this was about so I click on it and start reading the opening comment (or whatever you want to call it) it says "ok just because we are teenagers doesnt mean we are discriminating, or dumb (like we need to get our grades up) more than anything we are getting disriminated gainst and thats dumb" and then other people start voicing their opinions on teenages so-called discrimination these days, and this one person replys "I'm also a teenager but I'm not treated dumb. How old are you? Oh wait, it's probably because you listen to Good Charlotte." And then the girl who wrote the opening comment got all pissed off because this other girl just dissed her favourite band and says "I hope that you get run over by a bus asshole!!! F*ck you!!!" So then other people start jumping in and swearing at eachother and calling each other out and all this shit, and im just reading this thinking You are all morons! So, someone voices their opinion on something...you dont like it and in turn start swearing at them and calling them names etc. etc. Thats mature!

But you know, it makes sense that these idiots would bitch and wine about not having respect these days and then start dis-respecting eachother. It's pathetic having to watch these people. They're so stupid. They complain about teenagers not having respect and then they try to prove their point by getting into fights with eachother. The mature thing to do would be to say "Yes, that's a good opinion. However, I dont really agree with it and this is my opinion..." There's no law saying you always have to agree with other peoples opinions! Thats what an opinion is...your personal thoughts. It's not necessarly the right thing. So, basically what im trying to say here, and the point of my ranting is: When someone states their opinion and you dont agree with it...thats fine. You dont have to. That's your right. But dont go off and spaz on them and start yelling at them trying to convince them that your opinion is better! Because by doing that you only make yourself look like an immature little moron. Have some respect and decency for others and if you dont have anything nice to say then keep your big mouth shut!

There's a difference between fighting and arguing and debating. Let's not cross that line shall we?

Love Always,

Roxy

Current Mood: bitchy

12:40 pm - Lazy day

Hey!

So, its just another lazy day here in the Roxy household. Im currently working on my biology project which is due tomorrow because me and two partners have to present it to the class. Grrr! I dont like presentations... Anyways, its this huge project and I havent done practically anything. I mean my partners have done all the work. I always used to be that person who contributed the most to the group and put in the most effort...and now as im working my way through highschool I find myself doing less and less work. Which is weird because its suppose to be the other way around... Im suppose to be working my ass off to get good grades to get into a good university, but im not. Maybe because theres just so much shit going on in my life right now I just dont give a damn anymore about stupid little things like who contributes more in groupwork. Or maybe its just that I realize that since I want to be a writer and major in english at university the only area I really need to do amazing in is english...and that all my other grades can just be average and i'll still probably be able to get into the university I want right?! Well, I sure as hell hope so because if im not right im screwing myself over! Oh well. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it...

In case you havent noticed by now...im a really laid-back, easy going, roll with the punches, go with the flow, type of person. lol! It takes a lot to stress me out and practically a near-death event to panic me. Maybe thats a good thing? Maybe its not...but whatever I really dont care...:)

So, anyways...the Christmas holidays start for me on December 17th (thats the last day of school) and on that day im going with my younger sister, Emma, to Buffalo to a concert with some friends who live in Buffalo, NY. So, it should be fun. Were gettting a limo ride to the concert from my friends house, then were going to the concert, then to a late dinner after, and then back to my friends house where me and my sister will be spending the night. The concert is called kissmasbash and apparently a radio station is throwing it (I dont know alot about American radio stations seeing as I live in Toronto, Canada). Apparently...JoJo, Ashlee Simpson, Switchfoot, Avril Lavigne, Sky Sweetnam, Simple Plan, and maybe Hilary Duff will be there along with some other artists i've never heard of (most of them are country singers, a few are bands...). So, im really excited. It should be a blast! I cant wait!

Also, my friends are very screwed up as I have noticed. My best friend, Chelsea, is staying in a relationship with her boyfriend who cheated on her and had sex with another girl (Sara) who just happens to be Chelsea's worst enemy. How nice is that? But she forgave him and is still with him... Im sorry but that is just stupid. I mean I love Chelsea like a sister and all and we've been best friends since the first grade, but like comon! He had sex with another chick! And if that isnt bad enough somehow the whole school found out about it and everyone in the whole school knew about it except for Chelsea for a whole week! And he never told her! No one told her...(I dont go to the same school as her so I didnt know about it...or else I definitely would have told her right away!) So, she was walking around for a whole week wondering why people were being so weird to her and everything and then one day her friend Danielle told her what happened. Danielle said she would have told Chelsea sooner but Greg (Chelsea's lying, scumbag, cheating boyfriend) said he wanted to tell her in person. But after a week went by and that never happened Danielle finally gave in and told her. Like, hello! He cheated on you, lied to you, and obviously doesnt care about you very much and you still are going out with him?! I dont understand! That sounds like a very dumb thing to do. But Chelsea says shes "in love" with him or whatever. So, apparently that makes up for it. And I mean I know people make mistakes...but he should have least been honest with her and told her before she was humilated in front of the whole school! Moron! Grrr! Well, I guess that old cliché is right...love really does make fools out of us all!

Well, anyways...I think thats enough of my ranting for now (and yes, everyday I will have a little rant about something im pissed off about...it keeps life interesting people!). And I have a lot more stupid, messed up friends (who I love very much) to write about...A LOT! So, I will probably save that for another day so I dont overload you with too much shit at once! And then theres my shit I have to write about...that will take awhile! lol! So, ya...look foward to it! *rolls eyes*

Love Always,

Roxy 

Current Mood: irritated

09:13 pm - A little about me...

Hey guys!

Well, this is my very first ever LJ entry and im pretty excited! I have been looking at something like an online journal or blog for awhile but unfortunately I couldnt find a service I liked. So, when I saw a one of my classmates in computer class looking at their friends online journal I decided to check out this site, I liked it and well...here I am. So, i've never really had one of these things before so I dont really know how they work or what you're "suppose to" write about...but i've never really been one for rules anyway so im just gonna write about what I like and my life and how im feeling...Ya, so, I thought maybe I would introduce myself a little...My name is Roxy, im sixteen years old, I live in the Toronto area, im 5'8, blonde hair, green eyes, I love most of the typical things teenagers do (music, sports, friends, going to the mall/movies, "hanging out" at various places, etc.). My favourite band is Incubus, and my favourite types of music are hard rock, alternative, and punk rock although I really am very eclectic and like all types of music including hip hop, rap, pop, rock, heavy metal, r&b, punk, classic rock, and even country, blues and some types of classical are starting to grow on me... I love music! I thrive on it and I honestly couldnt picture my life without out! I live music...lol! I also love snowboarding, volleyball, hockey...basically all sports! lol! I guess you could describe me as...easy to please, loves to have fun, very loyal to those I care about, a tad dorky at times, also a little crazy and weird (but weird in a good way ;) ). I've also been described by my friends as spontaneous, a good listener, creative, loud, funny, good at giving advice, random, caring, observant, having lots of "blonde" moments (which makes sense because I am blonde), and just in general a nice person. Oh, and some random facts (because I am so random! lol!)...
fav colour: green
fav movie: The Little Mermaid (a classic...gotta love it!), The Breakfast Club, and Detroit Rock City
fav song: Part of Your World (from The Little Mermaid), I Wish You Were Here (Incubus), and Drive (Incubus)
fav tv show: The OC (im obsessed with that show...)
fav actor: Adam Brody
fav actress: Hilary Duff
fav sport to watch: hockey
fav sport to play: volleyball
fave school subject: english (I love creative writing...I want to be a writer when im older, hopefully I can write fictional stories/novels)
fave book: the Harry Potter series, and the Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants series is really good as well
fav thing to do in my spare time: daydream (im a big dreamer, and it annoys the hell out of my parents as they always have to call me several times before they actual get a response because im always "in my own little world" as they say. I often get lost im my own thoughts...)
biggest strenght: my ability to think outside the box
biggest weakness: my laziness
biggest fear: being afraid

Well, I hope that gives you some idea of who I am...it better! I practically told you my life story! lol! Jokes! Anyways...a lot more will probably be revealed about me as I write in my LJ's, hopefully daily. If not, as often as I can. Well, I thought I would just start off with my basic bio today and then tomorrow (or the next time I get a chance) i'll start writing about my life, my friends, my problems, my hopes and dreams etc. etc. So, ya...thats all! Thanks for listening!

Love Always,

Roxy

Current Mood: anxious